apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Oh god it's open bar.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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