"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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