Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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