Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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