I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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