he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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