Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
