Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
