at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
