I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
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