New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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