just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
