Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
