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When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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