you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize