i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I need moral support for this bender
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
