So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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