tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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