who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
