i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.