I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
