Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
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It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
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I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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