You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
