When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Of course I have a pirate flag
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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