Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
