i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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