Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
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My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
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I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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