Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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