Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
