Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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