i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
