with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
