there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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