Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize