she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
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I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
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Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
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