so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize