Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
