Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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