Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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