tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Randomize
