Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Pants are for mortals
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
