I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
