he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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