I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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