I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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