My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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