So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
