oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
