Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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