I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize