Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
