what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize