i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
