her vagine was all disorganized.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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