I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
