My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize