Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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