It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
