In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
