Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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