I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
