Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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